Well, as i recover, regroup, and reenergize my spirit and mind, i am taking Friday off, and my kids and I are just going to the Virginia mountains to relax and cleanse!  Next weekend is Labor Day, so i may get two weekends, lol! (sometimes u gotta splurge!) 

 I really do "fall" too easily for that passion and romance.  An idealist and a romanticist, ah, a courageous, but sensitive combo.  Well, sensitive to the beliefs that i want to think we all are honorable and striving to reach a greater understanding of ourselves and our universe.  Also, i want to think, most of us are searching for that companion to spend the rest of this lifetime with.  aye, well, must be more selective with my choices.  Grant me, my Lady, the clarity of mind to elucidate my choice for whom i should entangle myself with next time! 

ah, and that last blog may seem i am not very nice to the girls i do hang out with here in NC, but in reality, i know the one is a fair-weather only friend, and the WOW addict is a sweet soul for which there is a connection, but I wish she would spend more time in this reality not the WOW, lol!!!!  well, i am not perfect at all, either, by no means.  ;)

so, all well and good, have a blessed weekend to all! 

   O Lady of the moon, bless me through the hard times, love lost hurts sooooooooo.  A full moon lights the sky, i pray to gather those energies into my heart to heal and move on, and pray i can understand and see the reason why.    Am i wishing to hard to find love?  Where is that companion to get up and bike, hike, swim, watch CSI and HGTV, garden, just laugh, cook for him, dream together, and embrace under the moonlight.  Ah, the heart of a wistful romantic with the head of a scientist!  Yea, i am capricious sometimes, like my cat,  Felicity,  i want u to love me now, but not always.  lol!   such tumultous pain, to think u had that passion, but nope.  unreal.  so unbelievable sometimes.  I may just be fooling myself cuz i want to find that companion so much. U See, i am an orphan, and I have no family at all.  Even the ones that raised me were miserable, but that is another story, lol.  so,   I have myself and my kids.  I have that unconditional devotion to my kids and will stand for them always to make their lives 100% better than i ever had, and i pray i am doing that!    Yet, i do wonder, where is that unconditional romantic love some people get?  I want to feel that.  yea, 10 years i spent married, but it just died, no passion, no intellectual commo, we changed tooo much from the young ones we started as.  I have a pagan friend that is great and sweet and kind, but she only wants to play WOW<--- World of Warcraft--- ALL THE TIME< which is ok sometimes, but not ALL THE TIME> then my other "friend" is absolutely self-absorbed, weighs 110 lbs at 5 ft 7" but thinks she is fat.  SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, but she doesn't see it!!!!!!  SO, not much intellectual stimulation there, but she is open-minded.  People at work, nope, the pagan really deters many people, which is sad, but it is what I feel and believe. 

    So, well, at such a time when a moon of delight should be happening, all i feel is BLAH!  well, i did find some great herbs to add to my garden (only been here 2 years, so cut me some slack, lol).  Some echinacea and st. john's, yea!  So, as i hope the strength of the full moon will improve my garden as i pray for love to come to me, too.  Do we women just give and give and give????, lol, it seems that we do, and yet we resiliently persevere and make it through. 

   O my Great Lady and Lord, praise ur nurturing love and joys of summer, and bless me with understanding to overcome.  A vast universe, a versatile, diverse people, Mother Gaia, be with me this night, and infuse my soul with the strength, endurance, and fortitude to melt with the rain another day.

Blessed Be

Besides the wealthiest 1% OWNING our existence (but haven't they always, read "This Land is Their LAND" author eludes me at the moment, omg, now she's rich, lol), we live our reality with the security that we can go to the ocean, mountains, dance, drink, play pool, flirt, own some land, practice religion decently free, have merry feasts, and just enjoy the splendid nature still surviving those greedy moneybags clutches!!!!! We know our part to make less refuse, use less water, recycle, try to use less oil, and just maintain positivity!  WELL, killin me, these gas prices, killin!  The FUN budget seriously has dwindled.  NOT COOL!  I work to put gas in my car, and for what entertainment purpose???? I AM WORKIN FOR FREE!  So, it seems!  cuz, with gas sooo darn high, everything else is!  BUDGET CRISIS!  Does anyone else feel this pain?  SO, no mountains for me last weekend!  I just took the kids to the beach, which is closer, but did not spend extra money on arcades or amusements.  We did eat out once, but that was it.  It was sooooo constricted.  HOWEVER< the water was sooooooooooooooooooooo warm, exhilirating, and fun!  It was soooo beautiful for Solstice! We had a good fire that night at home with just the kids and me for s'mores.  I still need to find some like-minded friends, coven please???!  Well, this is my outlet, my online pagan community, thank the gods!    I hope everyone had a great Solstice!   Blessings to all! 

Blessed Be

I Love the warmth of summer, the pervasive scents of charcoal grills flaming with the heady aromas of jasmine and gardenia blooming, and the intoxicating allure of the millions of leaves rustling in a soft breeze enhancing the sounds of children laughing as they swim, run, and play immersed in the beauty of nature.   These feelings remind me of my love of the Mother, and her biology with chemistry.  Oh, How we must preserve our Earth, yet  improve our lives at the same time!  So many various molecular interactions abound, and yet the one biochemical interaction I dream of has alluded me.  I am drawn to nature as the path that accepts, loves, and attunes to the basic and higher energies within.   Only if all humans could attune, well, then I would have found that one by now, lol!  Ah, Such beautiful, complicated creatures we are.  Yet strife has its way too, i know, but focused positive energy has strength even when all seems dark. 

Blessed Be

Hope everyone had a blessed holiday weeekend, and we remembered our troops for the sacrifices that have been made!  I pray the war(s) end soon, at least another 10 to 20 year respite!  However, until the majority of us around the world want peace, well, the desire to fight for power, religion, and prosperity is not going to disappear anytime soon.  So, thank you men and women that have fought to preserve what ways of American life we do have! 

I enjoyed a trip to the mountains, Asheville, NC, to soak in the serenity, the fresh scents of trodden earth and grass as we hiked to have a backpack picnic with my children near a gentle, small waterfall.  It was so relaxing and elemental for me.  I wanted to stay; I want to wake up to that beauty and clean, woody smell everyday.  Well, back to Fayetteville for now, gotta pay the bills!  I will have that cabin in the woods to settle, we all have goals, lol!

Blessed Be